


Literature of Choice

by CriticalQueer



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Books, Coming Out, Erotica, Explicit Consent, F/F, Fingering, Friends to Lovers, I ran out of Beau/Jester stuff to read so here I am, Loneliness, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Pining, Quotes within quotes, Sex, Slow Burn, This formatting is going to be the death of me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-01
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-05-31 13:42:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19427125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CriticalQueer/pseuds/CriticalQueer
Summary: A questioning Jester chooses lesbian erotica as the next smut novel she and Beauregard will share on their journey through Xhorhas. What could possibly go wrong?





	1. The Goblin's Grimoire

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, wonderful people of Ao3, I'm back after a year... that's a damn sight better than my last hiatus from fanfiction! Here's the story that's been tumbling around in my brain since May, I hope you all like it... I'm trying out the chapter format this time. Fingers crossed.
> 
> Also, nope I haven't seen episode 69 yet but I will tomorrow and I'm just hoping it doesn't irreparably crush my soul. This story may be a preemptive coping mechanism. Bear with me.
> 
> *Update: I've finished the episode and now my soul is slightly dead. Send help.*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jester was pulled back to reality by the voice of her friend, but she didn’t quite hear what she was saying. All Jester could think about was the scene unfolding in the book, and the sudden racing heartbeat she could feel inside her chest (and perhaps even more so) between her legs. _Holy Shit._

“‘... _His hand dropped to my waist and I could feel my pulse quickening, my skin reacting to his touch. My breath caught in my throat as his arms wrapped around me and pulled me in closer. I could feel his throbbing, rock-hard member pressing into my-’_ Ugh!” The tan-skinned monk slammed the book shut and deposited it back on the shelf like she’d just found a spider in between the pages. “Why are they all like this?”

Next to her stood a horned blue Tiefling, eyes alight as she leafed through the pages of another nearby book. “Beauuu, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jester replied, “Romance is a very wide genre! I’ve read sooooo many and every one is so different!” 

The two stood in the adult section of the Goblin’s Grimoire, a surprisingly large bookstore in the heart of Asarius. It seemed to be a small shop from the outside, but one that Caleb couldn’t resist, and it proved to hold far more than expected. Dispersed throughout its seven or so rooms were the members of the Mighty Nein. 

Beauregard rolled her eyes with a smile and snatched the book out of Jester’s hands. “Look at this. It’s almost exactly like the one we read in the tunnels together.” She flipped to the inside cover. “‘ _Casiris and Delphinium thought they could resist the fierce, magnetic attraction between them. But when they confronted each other about the furtive stares and suggestive touches they exchanged at work, Delphinium realized she couldn’t stay away from him, or his rippling muscles, any longer. Little did she know, Casiris was keeping a secret from her, and it wasn’t just a massive cock.’_ Gag me with a spoon.”

“We don’t have to buy another book to read together, you know,” Jester said, but the words suddenly made her feel disappointed. The two spent the journey through the tunnels reading together and it was honestly one of the most fun things she had done in awhile. There was something about reading smut with your sarcastic, extremely gay best friend that just made the time seem so much more worthwhile. It was hilarious watching Beau try to choke her way through a romantic confession or an explicitly described sex scene, and she’d had her heart set on choosing another one.

Beau handed the book back to Jester. “Now hold on, nobody said I didn’t want to read another with you. I just don’t know how to pick one. It’s all heartbeats and heaving bosoms and quivering bratwurst, as far as I’m concerned.” 

This comment, made far too loudly for a bookstore, attracted disapproving stares from a family of bugbears in the adjacent children’s section. 

“What I mean is,” Beau said, a little less loudly, “You pick. I’ll entertain myself. I’m going to find as many different ways to refer to penises in 10 minutes. Wish me luck!” The Monk turned back to the stacks with a smile and started leafing through pages.

Jester didn’t care who was looking. She loved attracting strange looks in public, if she was being honest. And Beau always had a way of making her smile. Turning her attention back to the stacks and stacks of romance stories in front of her, she wondered how many books like this she’d read in her lifetime. Probably at least a hundred, most of which she got from her mother. It was how Jester learned about love and romance, and some of the more specific details of sex. Jester used to love nothing more than curling up with hot chocolate and erotica, reading through page after page of princes captivating the hearts of princesses, sailors sweeping women off their feet as they came home from sea, girls falling in love and getting married and having a totally ridiculous amount of sex… And now she got to share them with her friends! Well, friend. Beau’s the only person who really liked to read them with her. But she was more than enough.

In front of her were so many options. Many of them, she recognized; it seemed that many of the authors popular on the Menagerie Coast were also common in Xhorhas! She saw a few of her favorites as she ran her eyes from shelf to shelf, picking a few and putting them back. But her eyes rested on a black and silver bound novel all the way at the bottom of the last stacks. _Asa’s Undoing_. The silver, cursive lettering seemed to almost shimmer. Intrigued, Jester picked it up and opened to the inside cover.

_Asa, newly single after breaking it off with her former fiance Evin, moved to Tharistrae for a fresh start, finally giving herself the time to focus on her writing. But after meeting the rough and captivating Xael, the woman who owned the bar below her apartment, Asa quickly found herself caught up by more than just the novels she sought to publish. Xael was about to change everything Asa thought she knew about friendship, love, and passion, and Asa didn’t want her to stop._

Something stirred deep in Jester’s stomach. A small, twisting sensation. Nervousness? She flipped open to a random page near the beginning.

_Asa's heart jumped as the woman at the bar looked up and her piercing green eyes locked mine. Her short, dark hair was pulled out of her face, revealing a softly chiseled jawline and lips curled into a half-smile. Her neck, long and silvery-gray, met a defined collarbone and muscular shoulders obvious even through her shirt. As she walked over, Asa couldn’t take her eyes off of her._

Her heart beat just a little faster as she leafed through the book to a later scene.

_Held in place between a brick wall and a tall, strong, half-undressed Xael, Asa couldn’t have moved an inch if she wanted to, but Xael's teeth were gently nibbling on her ear and her hands were starting to travel down to Asa's belt… she thanked the Light that Xael had her pinned, because she could barely feel her legs, let alone stand up straight. Waiting at the waistline of her pants, Xael’s hands seemed to be asking permission, but all she could answer was a breathy, ‘Yes’, as she leaned her head back to let kisses trail down her neck. She could feel all her blood rushing towards Xael's touch when she finally removed the layers separating her hands from their destination. Asa needed more. The wrecked moans escaping her lips must have told Xael everything she needed to know, because her fingers finally found the heat they had been searching for, and Light, it felt just as incredible as it had the first time. She began her circles, and Asa could feel how wet she had become-_

“Sixty-two! Sixty-two ways to refer to your dick!”

Jester was pulled back to reality by the voice of her friend, but she didn’t quite hear what she was saying. All Jester could think about was the scene unfolding in the book, and the sudden racing heartbeat she could feel inside her chest and, perhaps even more so, between her legs. _Holy Shit._

Beau pointed to one of the other shelves. “My favorite one so far is ‘greatsword’. Imagine being so self-centered that you refer to your own dick as a _greatsword_. ‘I impaled her starving body on my greatsword’, really sounds more like war than sex to me.”

She struggled to push the image of Xael and Asa out of her mind. “Yeah, wow, that’s…. A lot of dick, Beau,” she attempted. 

It was already settled in Jester’s mind- she needed to buy that book. Something was stirring inside of her, and it wasn’t just the blood stubbornly refusing to go back to its typical location. _But Beau can’t know why I’m buying it,_ Jester thought. _I’ll pretend it was an accident!_

“I found one, Beau- look at how shiny the cover is! It’s about a girl who’s a writer falling in love with a bartender, and he sounds like he’s really awesome and-”

“-Sure, Jes, whatever book you want. It’s on me.” She reached to take the book from the Tiefling’s hands.

“No!” Jester exclaimed, startling the Monk and pulling the tome away from her. “I- I mean, that’s okay, I’ll buy this one and you buy… the next one?” It was a poor attempt at a recovery.

Beau seemed confused, but didn’t ask. “Okay, sounds fine to me. I think the others are already outside. We should probably get out there.”

The pair made their way up to the elderly Goblin woman working at the desk. She opened the book to find the price, raised her eyebrows, and then gave Jester and Beau an uncomfortable once-over. Jester froze, worried her cover would be blown.

“That’s nice, you’re buying a book together,” she said with a smile. 

Beau shrugged. “Uh, yeah, my friend and I like to read weird smut books together, I guess.”

The woman smiled chuckled a moment. “Friends! Yes, of course, dears. How lovely.” Jester wished she could just dissolve into thin air. “Well, you enjoy this one,” she said, shooting a knowing wink in Jester’s direction.

As the two walked away, Beau remarked, “What was that all about?”

“Some people just don’t understand erotica, I guess,” Jester said, attempting to keep her voice as normal as possible.

The pair caught up with the rest of their friends. “Has everyone got their... uh... literature of choice?” The Zemnian wizard eyed Jester’s bag suspiciously.

“Yep, we’re good to go,” Beau replied, and the group began to walk down the crowded streets of Asarius. She hurried to talk to Fjord at the front of the group, passing under a street lantern, the contrast between dim and bright light outlining the muscles on her back and shoulders. “I found sixty-three words for trouser snake while I was in there…”

Jester wasn’t listening. In her mind, she was pinned up against a wall, feeling the lips, tongue, and hands of another woman, but she didn’t have dark hair or gray skin.


	2. Firsts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you ever read any gay books?” Beau asked.
> 
> “No,” Jester said with a slight frown, “but I wish I did.”
> 
> “Well basically,” the Monk explained, “there’s like three different plots that lesbian stories can have."

Back at the inn, Jester sat on the edge of her twin bed. As usual, she was sharing a room with Beau, a custom they had upheld since the early days of the Mighty Nein. Jester certainly didn't mind; years of solitude led her to prefer the company. She couldn't even imagine falling asleep without hearing the quiet noises of her sleeping friends nearby. The bedroom in this inn was unremarkable, sporting two basic beds, a nightstand in between, and a window with worn curtains. She was alone, as Beau was downstairs drinking. 

Jester stared at the black and silver book sitting on her nightstand. That new, exciting nervousness was still stirring inside of her, anticipating reading more about Asa and Xael. She still couldn't quite put her finger on where the feeling came from. There was nothing forbidden about gay media when she lived with her mother. In fact, her mother sometimes took female and non-binary clients, so Jester had always known that women could be interested in women. She just hadn't considered asking for any books with gay protagonists. She read her first romance novels when she was a young teenager, furtively sneaking them from her mother's collection until she found the courage to ask for some herself. Since those books had been about a man and a woman, the staff who went to buy more books for her just picked out more of the same. And those books had been fantastic, holding her attention and feeding her imagination for years. She loved everything about romance: the chase, the yearning, and the ultimate kiss. But she hadn't ever thought to seek out books about women. 

When Beau returned to their room, a few hours and a few drinks later, Jester could hardly wait to ask her to read some. But Beau was more than a little sauced; her cheeks were flushed red and her gait was less smooth than usual. "Maybe not tonight," came her response when Jester suggested some reading before bed. "Tomorrow. I promise."

By the time they sat down to read the next day, Jester at least had enough time to consider what she was going to say when Beau discovered the book was about two women. She joined Beau on her bed, as the two tended to do, sitting close enough that their shoulders were almost touching. Jester's tail was flicking at the end with nervous enthusiasm that had been building over the past few days. It made a slight swishing noise against the covers. She was glad she'd tucked it out of the way, or its movements against Beau's leg would betray her intent.

Finally, Beau cracked open the front cover and began to read. In the raspy voice that Jester had come to love, she told of a young Drow woman who had found herself stuck in a life that did not excite or inspire her, with a pleasant but uninteresting husband in a typical home in Xhorhas. This was Asa, and she decided to leave her life behind to pursue her dreams of becoming a writer, moving to a new city and renting a flat above a bar. The author’s writing style was descriptive, but not the point of being boring; each scene was fleshed out in enough detail for Jester to imagine she was there. And imagine she did; like she used to, when her books were her only connection to the outside world, Jester imagined she was Asa, experiencing everything through her eyes. Jester knew what it was like to be trapped in stagnation and understood the longing to experience more. 

“This is actually really well written,” Beau commented, and the book hadn’t even broached the topic of a new romance. “I think you picked a good one.”

The story continued. Asa had searched her new city high and low before finally finding an apartment for rent, and the book described her inquiring with the bartender about a lease. In great detail, it gave Xael’s description. And as far as Jester was concerned, she sounded… pretty great. Jester caught her tail flicking in anticipation as Beau read about the characters’ first interaction. It was adorably awkward; Xael gave Asa a tour, but the latter was obviously distracted, there were a couple of humorous misunderstandings, and the scene closed with Asa signing the lease, but not without brushing Xael’s hand a few times.

“Uh, Jester,” Beau began, raising an eyebrow and glancing at her friend after reading a particularly foreshadowing sentence.

_Oh no. Keep it cool, Jester,_ the Tiefling thought to herself. She forced her tail to be still for once that evening. _Just tell her you didn’t know a thing._

“This sure does seem like they’re setting Xael up as the love interest.”

Jester tried not to blush too darkly, hoping the shade of blue on her cheeks wouldn’t be a dead giveaway. “I… I guess I just picked it quickly, Beau! It seemed like a good book, and it’s been really good so far, so maybe we just keep reading it?” She put a little extra sing-song modulation in her voice, trying to sound as natural as possible.

Beau looked surprised, but definitely not in a bad way. “Fuck yeah, we’ll keep reading it! I’m so glad we’re taking a break from hearing about some dude’s girth. Lesbian novels were, like, my whole world when I was fifteen.”

_Thank the Traveler she didn’t ask any more questions!_ Giving Beau a big Jester smile, she asked, “Really? How many do you think you’ve read?”

“A ton. Not all of them were good, though. This one seems to be pretty great. The writing isn’t campy as fuck like half the stories I remember,” the Monk began. “These books were basically how I figured out I liked girls.”

Jester snatched the book out of Beau’s hands and set it down on the bed. “Really?”

“Yeah, like, I was pretty sure I had a crush on a bunch of girls from my school, but it wasn’t until I started reading some gay books that I was absolutely sure. There’s just something about seeing your own thoughts on a page that makes you realize that your thoughts are exactly what really happens in the world. Does that make sense?”

“It does,” the Tiefling replied. “I learned about so many things from books. All I did was read and draw back then, and reading so many different kinds of books gave me an idea of what I wanted to do, like, you know, go adventuring and find a great group of friends like you guys, and stuff.”

“Did you ever read any gay books?” Beau asked.

“No,” she said with a slight frown, “but I wish I did.”

“Well basically,” the Monk explained, “there’s like three different plots that lesbian stories can have. I should know, because I read every queer book I could get my hands on, and I snuck into plenty of libraries back then.” Jester laughed at the thought of her friend breaking into a library to take novels. “What? I was too awkward to just check them out at first.”

“No, go on,” the Tiefling said, touching Beau’s arm. She was warm, and Jester could feel part of the curve of her bicep even though her arms were relaxed.

“Well, one, there’s the old Romeo and Juliet story, except it’s two Juliets and they’re separated by homophobia. That’s got to be at least half of all the gay books in the world. Sometimes, it’s the families, or the town they live in, and sometimes one of the girls just can’t accept that she likes other girls, and it ends up being a total disaster, but usually they get to have sex first. Two, there’s stories where some woman married to a shitty guy who doesn’t know how to fuck ends up falling for another woman, and that’s usually a disaster as well, with a bunch of cheating, but some EXTREMELY hot sex. And three, there’s stories like this one, where one of the girls is just finding herself, no cheating or massive internal conflict or anything. And they have sex, of course.”

“I’m sensing a common theme,” Jester said, her cheeks fading to a deeper blue once more.

“Well, yeah, the sex is always really great. World-changing. Most of these books have one of the girls just figuring out that she likes other women, so of course it’s going to be hot. I mean, can you _imagine_ sleeping with a girl for the first time, like, being the first girl she’s ever been with?” Beau became more animated, her eyes lighting up and her hands moving as she spoke. “That’s basically the hottest thing ever. Everything you do just blows her mind. She has _no idea_ what sex with a girl is going to feel like, and then you have her there in your bed and she’s making these _noises_ and like…” She trailed off, lost in a memory for a moment before coming back with a genuine smile. “It’s the best.”

“Really?” Jester’s enthusiasm came back with force as Beau described being a girl’s first time with another girl. “What about if it’s her FIRST first time? Her first EVER?”

“I guess it’s probably still the same, but I’ve never been someone’s very first,” Beau replied.

“But you’ve been someone’s first girl?”

Now, Beau was smiling that crooked, half-smile that she tends to crack when she’s showing off. Jester watched her lips a little longer than usual. “A few times, Jes, and trust me, it was Hot. As. Fuck.” Her nose crinkled a little and she bit her lip just slightly as she said that last word.

Jester couldn’t really put together a response to that, so she just giggled, her mind clouded with more images her imagination concocted without her permission. She passed the book back to Beau to finish the chapter. It was close to concluding, anyways; it closed with Asa unpacking her things into the flat, relaxing with the intent of working on her writing, but getting lost in thoughts of Xael. 

“So, what do you think, Beau? Did I pick a good one?” Placing the book back on the nightstand and turning off the light, she left Beau in her bed and returned to her own.

“Fuck yeah, Jester,” she responded, her eyes staring unfocused at nothing in particular. “This is going to be so much better. I can’t wait until it starts to heat up. I’d bet two gold that Asa’s going to be touching herself sometime in the next few chapters. God, I’d love to be a fly on the wall if a girl was doing that, thinking of me.” Jester felt fortunate that Beau couldn’t see the blush creep back onto her cheeks for the millionth time that night.

  
  
Once they had said their goodnights, Jester wrapped the blankets around her to go to sleep. But Beau’s enthusiastic voice was lingering in her ears. She was left with so many questions and thoughts that she couldn’t pull them apart or focus on one long enough to come to a satisfactory conclusion. She laid there, playing the conversations they had held over and over in her mind until it was quite late. In fact, Jester could hear the steady rise and fall of Beau’s breathing before she even felt tired. That simple noise reminded her that she wasn’t alone; that there would be someone who loved her just an arm’s reach away. The security and companionship that came from travelling with the Nein was everything to Jester. She drifted off to sleep, her breathing steadying to match her companion’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meta? Who, me? Noooooo, what are you talking about? :)
> 
> For those of you who are waiting for the smut, I promise it's coming!


	3. Mess of Possibilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jester mumbled an “Okay,” and watched Beau close the door behind her. She sunk back into the pillow, said a quiet thank you to the Traveler, and picked the book back up, flipping back to when Xael first kissed Asa. The pulsing between her legs, which had subsided slightly, came back full force as soon as Xael’s tongue was mentioned. Jester could almost feel lips on hers, a tongue dancing with her own, and she didn’t even have any memories of that to build from. It just sounded so fucking hot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Fourth, here's some porn.

Things were heating up, and Jester had no idea how to handle it. Or even how to explain it to herself.

Ever since they started reading that book, there was something different between her and Beau. She almost couldn’t put her finger on it. It wasn’t that Beau was doing anything strange, really, but just that the stuff they’d always been doing had a little twist to it. Like the way Beau looked after she washed her hair in the morning. She’d just come back from using the washbasin in the inn hallway, returning to their room wearing some of her clothing and with a towel around her neck, her hair barely pat dry. The strands stuck together and a few clung to her face. Beads of water still sat on her skin. And Jester’s thoughts ran away from her immediately. She usually turned and looked away if she was seeing something she liked that she shouldn’t, but she let herself watch her roommate walk for a moment, taking the towel off her sculpted shoulders and running it through her hair. And Beau definitely saw her looking; their eyes met, Beau smiled that half smile again, and _shit_ , Jester was stunned.

After a moment, Beau turned away and continued getting ready, running her hands through her wet hair, and Jester’s thoughts swam. _Am I allowed to look at her like that? If Beau doesn’t think it’s weird, is it weird? Would it be weird if it was Fjord?_ _Can I look at other girls like that? Will girls look at_ me _like that?_ Those last thoughts brought forth a dizzying mess of possibilities. She could look, and maybe someone would be looking back. Maybe Beau was looking back. Maybe Beau was _always_ looking back, Jester just wasn’t looking long enough to see it.

And it wasn’t just stray looks and wet hair. The way they talked was slightly different, too. They’d always had a comfortable familiarity, talking differently when it was just the two of them than they did in front of everyone else. But now that familiarity had more giggling, more banter, more looks that lasted just a second longer than they needed to, and sometimes, Jester wondered when she talked if it was her eyes Beau was watching, or her lips. But she couldn’t be sure. The difference was so small. Part of Jester wondered if there was even a difference at all; perhaps it was wishful thinking, or the even stranger possibility that Beau had always done these things, but Jester hadn’t noticed them until now. 

Either way, it made her wonder about Fjord. Jester thought on it for a few days and decided she’d definitely had feelings for Fjord, but she didn’t think he had any feelings for her. Flirting with Fjord was like shouting into a cave- the only thing she heard in return was her own voice. With Beau, it was so different. She didn’t even have to shout. The smallest of things were returned. She could brush against her in a tavern and somehow, ten minutes later, Beau would find an excuse to brush against Jester in return. Over a decade of reading romantic novels failed to prepare her for how fucking _incredible_ it feels to catch someone’s eye and have an entire conversation in just glances that leaves you melted. That never happened with Fjord.

Reading their book became a nightly ritual. Sometimes, they’d even read it aloud in front of the others. This happened one night in the Xhorhouse living room. Beau and Jester were curled up on opposite sides of the couch, their backs against the arms and their feet draped lazily over one another’s in the center. Beau was reading aloud. Asa and Xael had already gotten to know each other at that point, running into each other by “accident” at Xael’s own bar and spending evenings talking, unaware of how late it was until they were the only people left. Asa told Xael about her ex-husband, there was an immense amount of flirting, and now Xael was upstairs helping Asa fix a hole in the ceiling.

_“‘Asa watched Xael climb down from her kitchen chair. The way she moved was so careful and deliberate, even when she was doing something so simple. There was some sawdust in her hair which must have fallen while she was doing the repairs. Asa wanted to run her hand through Xael’s hair to pull it free, but she didn’t trust herself to do so without getting a little too close. A coy smile told her that Xael had definitely seen her staring._

_‘So, it’s fixed now?’ she asked, looking for something to fill the silence._

_‘It’s done. Should last through the rainy season if that old Bugbear at the general store didn’t scam me on the materials.’_

_Xael started walking towards the door. It was a shame to see her go so soon. Asa searched her mind as the two stood on her threshold, trying to find another reason to keep her here.’”_

_“_ Oh, just kiss her already!” Jester squealed. Caleb glanced at her from his spellbook. Beau kept reading.

_“‘She seemed to have her own plans. Time froze as Xael reached a hand out to Asa’s hip. Pulling her in, Xael brought her face towards her close enough for their noses to nearly touch. Asa’s breath left her lungs._

_‘You sure there’s nothing else here I need to fix?’ she whispered.’”_

“That’s a hell of a line,” Yasha chimed in.

“SHUT UP shut up shut up they’re going to kiss!” Jester exclaimed, fidgeting with a fistful of the fabric of her skirt. She was now on the center couch seat, leaning against the back of the couch with her knees pulled to her chest, hanging on every word.

Beau smiled and kept reading.

_“‘The longing was unbearable. Asa’s lips tingled with the need to touch Xael’s. She bridged the distance gently and slowly, but the instant they were kissing, all sense of decorum vanished from the room. Xael’s fingers became entangled in Asa’s clothing as she pinned her tenant against the door. Asa’s breath came in gasps in between kisses that overtook her. The softness was like nothing she had ever felt before. They glided over hers for a few moments before suddenly they were joined by her tongue, diving between Asa’s slightly parted lips and-’”_

Beau paused, looking around the room and catching the eyes of the other members of the Mighty Nein. “Want to take this upstairs?” Beau asked Jester.

“Yes. Definitely say yes,” was Fjord’s reply from across the room. Caleb hummed in approval.

Jester hopped off the couch and pulled Beau upstairs.

* * *

They kept reading, curled up next to each other on Beau’s bed, and it only got better. Asa and Xael didn’t stop kissing at the door. Instead, what started as extremely hot making out led to more when Xael pulled off Asa’s clothing and the two went to her bed, barely able to keep their hands off one another on the way. Jester was riveted. 

_“‘Asa lay down on her bed, her back pressed against the mattress and her head not quite on a pillow, but the only thing she could think about was the mostly nude woman pinning her there. Xael began to kiss down her neck, her teeth nipping at Asa’s skin and drawing gasps and moans that only encouraged her more. These kisses eventually traveled to Asa’s nipples, already taut from the suggestion of what was to come. When Xael took one into her mouth, Asa’s hands gripped the sheets underneath her, feeling blood rush out of her whole body and into the space inside her smallclothes.’_ This is pretty fucking hot, Jes, you picked a good one,” Beau commented, pausing her reading.

Jester’s reply was a simple, distracted “Uh huh”, completely absorbed in what Beau was reading. The scene continued, Xael fingering Asa to a powerful orgasm, and all the while, Jester could barely even stand how turned on she was getting. It was everything she could do not to reach down and release some of the tension she had built up between her legs. She settled for shifting position a few times, trying to find a way to put just the smallest amount of pressure, something to take the edge off the sensations screaming for her attention. She was almost certain she was blushing, and she was correct; her cheeks were dark blue beneath her mess of freckles and she was unknowingly biting the edge of her bottom lip. 

The scene concluded with Xael coolly getting her things and leaving without suggesting that Asa returned the favor, leaving her reeling on her bed trying to process what had just happened, elated and bonelessly melting into the mattress. 

“Holy Shit,” was all Jester could contribute when Beau finished the chapter.

“I know. That was really fucking hot.” Beau paused a moment to get her bearings. Her cheeks were also slightly red and she was squirming just slightly on the bed, shifting a little to find a better position. “How long have we been reading for? I still have shit I needed to do tonight.” 

“Yeah, I have to, like do some Cleric shit and talk to the Traveler,” Jester contributed, only half present. She needed to be alone.

Beau climbed off the bed and left the book on the covers. “So like, I’ll see you later,” she said, not really looking at Jester as she walked to the door, not acknowledging what they had just read together.

Jester mumbled an “Okay,” and watched Beau close the door behind her. She sunk back into the pillow, said a quiet _thank you_ to the Traveler, and picked the book back up, flipping back to when Xael first kissed Asa. The pulsing between her legs, which had subsided slightly, came back full force as soon as Xael’s tongue was mentioned. Jester could almost feel lips on hers, a tongue dancing with her own, and she didn’t even have any memories of that to build from. It just sounded _so fucking hot_. She slipped her free hand inside her shirt from the bottom and rolled one nipple between her fingers, only serving to amplify the overwhelming urge to be touched. She imagined the hand inside her shirt was no longer her own.

Reading the whole scene again, playing it in her head with explicit detail, Jester pulled up her skirt to allow the same hand to move from her shirt to inside her smallclothes. She was _wet_. Slipping one finger between her lips, she found her already enlarged clit, so sensitive from waiting that she gasped and almost dropped the book at first touch. Jester started with slow circles but moved to faster ones in time with Xael, fucking Asa gently at first but speeding up after registering her enthusiasm. In her mind, it wasn’t Asa being touched anymore. She dropped the book back onto the bed to allow a second hand to find its way underneath her skirt. One hand continued the decisive circles around her clit, speeding up and slowing down in turn to keep her from coming too quickly- she wanted to enjoy every second of these hands fucking her. The other hand slipped two fingers inside of her, reaching upwards and curling to hit where she needed it. 

Jester’s breath was coming in wrecked gasps. Her eyes were clenched tightly shut. Xael’s hands sped up, bringing her closer and closer to release. As she approached the precipice, the woman she imagined above her started to change, losing the gray skin and the sharp features of the Drow woman and being replaced with a much more familiar tan-skinned Monk, bringing her over the edge with her deft fingers. She could see her naked form above her, hear her voice asking Jester if she liked it; she could even smell her. Jester’s toes curled into the mattress and she tried to stifle her own moaning but she wouldn’t be surprised if it was audible in the next room. The waves washed over her as she opened her eyes, alone of course in the bedroom she shared with Beau. It registered to her that she’d just touched herself, thinking of her best friend.

Still feeling the pulses between her legs, Jester rolled onto her side, afterglow filling her with warmth. She could still smell Beau, musky yet beautiful, and she cuddled into the blankets. _Wait. Why can I smell Beau?_ Realization washed over Jester and she sprang up, checking the sheets for any traces of wetness and pulling the covers back up as though nothing had happened. As though she hadn’t just _fucked herself_ in her _roommate’s bed_ , all while _thinking of her_. Putting it that way, it sounded weird as hell. She dove into her own bed, hoping Beau would be none the wiser when she came back in. 

Jester thought back to her fantasy about her friend. _So I guess I definitely like Beau?_ she thought to herself, coming to a tentative conclusion that she hadn’t dared to draw in so many words until this point. She wrapped herself in her blankets, thinking about the implications of this. A nagging sense of worry crept into her mind. Jester imagined what it would be like if Beau found out, but didn’t feel the same. They wouldn’t be able to share a room anymore. Jester would have to fall asleep without the sound of her best friend gently snoring in the next bed. Or worse- it could drive her apart from the group.

Imagining herself apart from the Mighty Nein brought memories flooding back from her years spent in her bedroom in Nicodranas. The expanse of time between when she got to see other people was long enough to drive a person insane from a lack of contact. The loneliness and longing crept upon her again, hollowing out her chest and making her hands wring with restlessness and anxiety. Jester would give anything to never feel like that again. She pulled herself more tightly into a ball. _No. I can’t tell her._

Jester drifted between waking and barely conscious, not fully falling asleep until she heard Beau come back in, settling into her own bed without any signs of knowing what had taken place between her sheets. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who noticed, yup it's a Dodie reference. I was a young lesbian once. :)


	4. A Crack in the Wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Did you struggle with realizing you were gay?”
> 
> Beau paused before answering. “Not the way you’d think. I didn’t care what my parents thought. But it was just one more thing to add to the ever-growing list of things I’d fucked up for them. Another thing about me that didn’t meet their expectations.”
> 
>   
> “Then those are dumb expectations because I think you’re pretty great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to formally apologize to The Bright Queen and the entire Kryn Dynasty for misspelling 'Xhorhas' for the last three chapters. I will go back and fix it. May the Light be with you.

Jester had plenty of time the next day to attend to her own thoughts, chewing through what had taken place after reading the sex scene with Beau. The Nein had a week’s time while they waited for something to happen at The Overcrow, and she had chosen to spend most of that time working on the tree with Caduceus. It was the kind of task requiring some concentration, but it was easy to fall into a rhythm, going through the same motions over and over while her mind wandered elsewhere. She needed to have a conversation with Beau and tell her some of what was going on. Not all of it, of course, but at the very least, Jester wanted to make sure that Beau’s swift exit the night before didn’t mean that she was too uncomfortable to read any more of _Asa’s Undoing_ together. They hadn’t spoken a word to one another that morning. Beau hadn’t even made eye contact with Jester at breakfast.

That evening, the two were passing each other on the stairs. Beau’s expression was neutral- unreadable, even- and she was staring at her own feet. Jester put an arm out to stop her, catching her shoulder. The Monk paused and finally looked up at her.

“Beau? Have you been avoiding me?” Her bubbly voice almost didn’t match the tone of the question.

Beau didn’t move away from Jester’s hand, but didn’t hold eye contact with her, either. “I mean, not _avoiding_ , we’re roommates.”

Jester frowned. “Even if it is ‘not avoiding’, I don’t like it. It’s not like us.” Her eyes scanned Beau’s face for any indication of anger or hurt, and with relief, found none. She just seemed uncomfortable.

“I don’t know, Jes, it’s just weird. I just read a bunch of really hot lesbian smut with my straight roommate and I just felt _weird_ . I have no idea how to explain it but it’s just _weird._ ”

Jester tested the waters. “Would it still be weird if I wasn’t straight?”

Beau paused. “Uh- I mean, probably a little. I haven’t really thought about it. I’ve never read erotica with friends before, and it was just so silly when we read _Tusk Love_. But this was, like, really… hot.” She looked like she wanted to be absorbed into the staircase. “You probably just thought it was a bit of fun, but it was actually a pretty accurate scene and-”

“I thought it was hot, too.”

Beau didn’t respond. Jester let go of Beau’s arm and sat down on the staircase. To her relief, Beau did, as well. Sitting one step below the Monk, it was easier for Jester to look her in the eyes.

“Look, Beau, I haven’t quite been honest, here.” She prepared herself to tell at least half of the truth, although even that much made her nervous. Her pulse quickened and her arms and legs felt strange. “I picked that book out on purpose.”

“What?”

“Yeah. Um, I’ve been thinking about some things, and some of those things have been, like, _girls_ , and stuff… and I flipped through that book in the bookstore, and I really really wanted to read it with you… I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but I didn’t know for sure and I think I might like girls and also boys and actually now that I say it out loud I don’t even know if the gender part matters to me but, um, I definitely probably think I’m not straight and if I wasn’t sure before I’m definitely sure after what we read yesterday so I just don’t want you to feel weird about it because I really liked it, too.” It all came out in one ridiculous run-on sentence, words spilling over each other as thought she was casting _Message_. But as soon as she finished speaking, it all seemed to sound right. Jumbled, but right.

The nervousness dropped from Beau’s face. “You didn’t have to lie about it, Jes- how long have you been wondering about this?”

“I never really thought about it until pretty recently but looking back I think there were plenty of times I should have thought about it before.”

“Yeah, that’s how it usually goes.” Beau sounded so _understanding_. Any traces of that gnawing loneliness disappeared from Jester’s chest. “At least you didn’t wait until your landlord pinned you against the wall to figure it out.”

“Gods, Xael can do that to me anytime she likes,” Jester said with a sigh. 

Beau laughed. “Just Xael?”

There was a moment’s pause where neither of them fully processed Beau’s question. Then suddenly, they both started speaking.

“I mean, like, is there-”

“If that’s an of-”

Their eyes met and they both blushed, neither sure what the other had said. “You first.” Jester was quiet for a moment.

“Sorry. What I meant to ask was this: Is there a certain girl who started this all? Or is it hypothetical right now?”

Hearing Beau bail out from the question Jester thought she was asking made her feel less bold. She’d promised herself not to tell the _whole_ truth. “Not in particular. There’s a lot of girls who I think are really really attractive, though.”

Was that disappointment across Beau’s face for a second? “Well, that’s a shame, I’d have loved to know who got you so riled up you started questioning yourself. I was a few girls’ gay panic, back before I met you guys.”

There’s that _damn_ half smile again. It was wearing down Jester’s defenses. “Gay panic?”

“Yeah, gay panic. I don’t know if that’s really what it’s called but I heard it once and I decided to keep saying it. The person that makes you realize you aren’t, like, straight.”

Jester laughed. “I think this wasn’t quite a ‘panic’. I never felt any pressure to be straight, I was quite lucky to be in such an accepting house. It just hadn’t occurred to me yet.”

“Well, that’s good. A lot of people really struggle with it.”

“Did you?”

Beau paused before answering. “Not the way you’d think. I didn’t care what my parents thought. But it was just one more thing to add to the ever-growing list of things I’d fucked up for them. Another thing about me that didn’t meet their expectations.”

“Then those are dumb expectations because I think you’re pretty great.” Without thinking, Jester took Beau’s hand. They looked at each other for a moment. Beau smiled back at her, and Jester felt like the most loved person in all of Xhorhas. Possibly even Exandria.

They could have stayed there, holding hands on the staircase until the early hours of the morning, and Jester couldn’t have been happier. But Beau stood up, the two reluctantly dropping hands and taking a few more steps towards their original destinations.

“Want to read some more tomorrow night?” Beau asked.

“Absolutely.”

Jester couldn’t wait.

* * *

The next night and the night after that, Jester and Beau excitedly retreated to their rooms after dinner to read more _Asa’s Undoing_. Telling Beau that she liked women was clearly the best decision Jester could have made, because as she sat in Beau’s bed, their backs resting on the same pillow and their legs in a tangle, she realized that being close to Beau was the most natural thing in the world. Crushes in books were always so awkward, with so much shyness and dancing around things. But this was different. Jester was so comfortable next to her, nearly melting into her warmth and laying a head on her shoulder multiple times before good sense had a chance to catch up with her. At one point, she even noticed that her tail had snuck its way to Beau’s ankle and wrapped itself around. If Beau was aware of it, she gave no indication, and didn’t try to free her leg at all.

And there was no awkwardness as they continued reading. Over those two nights, Beau read aloud two more sex scenes, a handful of Asa’s fantasies, and a conversation about sexuality that reminded Jester of what had transpired on the staircase. But at no time did Beau seem to want to leave. They talked to each other through the sex scenes, Beau commenting on what was and wasn’t realistic (Jester was shocked to discover scissoring wasn’t real, but rubbing up on each other’s legs while making out was, in Beau’s words, ‘mandatory’,) and Jester asking a thousand questions, all of which Beau was happy to answer. And she was doing a far better job this time of managing how much the story was turning her on. In fact, Jester only got especially wet during one of the scenes- the first time that Asa felt Xael’s tongue between her legs- but she managed to reign herself in. 

Of course, that didn’t stop her from touching herself the first free moment alone she could find after they had set the book down for the night, but then again, Zadash wasn’t built in a day. The mere _idea_ of a girl with her tongue between Jester’s legs was enough for her to go on.

In fact, everything seemed to be going well. Three days after the conversation on the stairs, Jester was comfortable with the decision that she liked people of any gender, although she was a little fixated on girls at the moment. She was somewhat hopeful that she might be winning Beau over, and the sunlight enchantment for above the Xhorhouse tree was coming along well. A little before noon, she took a moment’s pause from her work.

It was a lovely view from the top of the tree. She could see the streets of Roshonna, or at least the few blocks surrounding their little neighborhood. People were often coming and going, many stopping to gaze confusedly at the massive, bizarre plant growing out of their house. Jester quite enjoyed watching them all. She could see a family, all pointing and staring at the leaves and branches, some town guards undoubtedly torn between following the orders of the Bright Queen and confronting them for disturbing the neighborhood, and even Beau, walking back home from some kind of errand. 

She watched from the tree as the Monk was stopped by a Drow woman with white hair in braids and a dress showing off most of her legs. They talked for a moment, gesturing up to the tree, Beau most likely explaining what was going on. That wasn’t too unusual. Jester went back to her enchanting work. But twenty minutes later when she looked to see if the woman had gone on her way, she saw that Beau and the woman were sitting down on the wall surrounding the property, talking.

Talking?

_Surely, they’re just talking,_ Jester tried to tell herself. She continued to watch the pair, eyes glued onto Beau’s face. She could see Beau’s eyes lighting up as she talked, her head leaning more than a friendly distance towards the woman’s, and that smile, that _fucking smile_ …

Jester watched in dismay as Beau took the woman’s hand and led her into the house. _Their_ house. Probably up to _their_ room, the room they shared, _together_ , and now some strange woman was going there with _Beau_ . Anger, hurt, jealousy- so many things swelled up inside Jester. It was similar to the way she had felt about Captain Avantika, but so, _so_ much more raw. She didn’t know if she was even justified to feel that way- after all, she wasn’t dating Beau- but she didn’t care. The loneliness opened back up in Jester’s chest like a crack in a wall, splitting and letting the freezing cold air back in that she constantly tried to keep out. 

She had no idea what to even do about it. She couldn’t go and break it up, as much as she wanted to confront this random woman, without violating their friendship and generally being a jealous person. Jester stewed in her anger, her enchantment magic faltering from her distraction. She started watching the street to see when the woman left, but there was no way she would be able to do both things at once, not with the thoughts spinning so quickly in her head. So Jester set her feelings aside. She tried not to think about Beau and that woman, getting close in Beau’s bed, and she turned to face away from the street. Jester focused her attention back on the tree, picking up her enchantment from where she had left off.

_Maybe Beau just doesn’t like me, after all._

* * *

That night, Jester was quiet. She was quiet as she met the rest of the Nein in the kitchen, quiet while the others talked about their day (no mention of the woman), and quiet as she got ready for bed, climbing into her own and pulling out her sketchbook.

“Jes, do you want to read any more tonight?” It was Beau’s voice, cutting through her intense focus on drawing a woman with white hair being eaten by an alligator.

“If you want,” she replied, with the least amount of tone possible.

Jester could sense Beau pausing for a moment, feeling eyes search her face for more information. “Do you want to sit over here?”

“No, I’m working on something over here, but you can read if you want.” The alligator’s teeth were especially sharp, and there was no way the woman had seen it coming.

“Oh… kay,” Beau answered, climbing into her own bed and opening up the book.

_“‘Asa woke up the next morning to find a single rose on her doorstep. She blushed, picking up the offering and bringing it to her nose. It was difficult to find roses in Xhorhas, and the thoughtfulness of such an antiquated and romantic gesture made her heart skip a beat. She trimmed the stem of the plant and placed it in a vase with some water. It looked perfect on her dining room table._

_Later that day, there was a familiar knock at her door. Anticipation filled her stomach, even though she knew who it was; the suggestion of seeing Xael was still as exciting to her as it had been the first time._

_“Who is it?” she called, coyly pretending like she didn’t know the answer.’”_

What was interesting about Jester’s alligator was that it could actually swallow a Drow whole. And it hadn’t eaten for awhile. She kept drawing, tuning out a few minutes of making out that she wasn’t in the mood to listen to.

_“‘As Xael came up for air, the two stared at each other for a moment. Perhaps it was the rose, perhaps not; but Asa softened, suddenly compelled to ask the question she’d been suppressing since this all began._

_“What are we doing?” The question cut through the room like a knife._

_There was a pause before Xael replied. “Well, it looks like we’re making out on a couch, but that’s probably not what you mean.”_

_“No, it’s not. I want to know what’s going on here. You show up like some kind of thief in the night and suddenly I can’t even think anymore, everything is about you. Your lips, your fingers, your_ tongue _\- but Light, Xael, I can see the way we look at each other and I know this isn’t just a quick fuck in the tool shed. You know me better than almost anyone I can think of and I’ve only lived here for two weeks.” Asa could feel a tear forming inside her right eye. She blinked.’”_

Jester’s pencil stopped moving on the paper. She knew where this was going. Scenes like this were always the hardest for her to read when she was tearing through her collection of romance novels in Nicodranas. The flirting and the sex were all good fun, but when characters really started talking about feelings, she felt differently. She remembered nights crying into her pillow, wishing desperately that she could take the place of one of the girls from her novels, even just for one day, instead of laying alone in a cold bed.

Beau kept reading, not noticing the lack of pencil sounds. _“‘Xael took her hands. “Asa, I don’t really know how to do this. I kiss a lot of people, okay? And I’m good at it. I’m not good at using words this way.”_

_She let go of Asa’s hands and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman’s body. One arm traveled up until her fingers were intertwined in Asa’s hair. Xael had never held her this closely._

_“But I want to be with you. Actually be with you. I can’t get you out of my head.”’”_

Jester set down the sketchbook and rolled to face the wall.

_“‘Asa’s heart skipped a beat. The warmth of the other woman’s arms melted away her apprehension. “Do you mean that, Xael?”_

_“Of course. Of course I do.” They kissed, and it was unlike any of the fervent, desperate kisses they had shared in the past. It was-’”_

“I’m going to sleep.” Jester pulled the blankets around herself and scrunched into the corner of the bed, making herself as small as possible.

“Okay, g’night-” Beau began, setting down the book.

“Goodnight.” It was definitive, final- absolutely _not_ with a hint of her voice breaking on the second syllable. 

Beau didn’t answer, she just shut off the light and laid down.

Silent, hot tears ran one by one from Jester’s eyes, the ones she had been holding since she saw Beau disappear with the woman. The hollow crack in her chest gave way to a massive, gaping hole; a vacuum to somewhere else sucking the life and the happiness and the warmth out of her, leaving ice-cold hollowness behind. She couldn’t pull the blankets tightly enough to give her starved skin the sensation of someone wrapping their arms around her, the one thing she wanted the most in that moment, that she'd wanted most for years. The one person she couldn't get out of her head. Being in Beau’s bed, next to her, with her tail wrapped around the Monk’s leg; that memory seemed so distant, its warmth so far away. Jester was determined not to let Beau hear anything, stifling what almost felt like a sob before it could escape her chest. She didn’t want to be a burden on Beau. It wasn’t her fault. 

She fell asleep, desperately wishing for the hole in her chest to close back up, to feel almost _anything_ else but oh-so-familiar loneliness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, this was a long chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jester suddenly regrasped the pencil, her grip tightening and almost causing it to snap. She could feel something welling up inside her, and she hoped it was the anger she was determined to hold against the friend she was determined not to want anymore. 
> 
> “What happened yesterday? What happened? I really should be asking you that, or at least I would if I cared at all.” Those words sounded so wrong, but she dug her heels in. “Which I don’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the end of my 4-day 4th of July weekend so I definitely won't be updating the final chapter for a few days but here you go ;)

The next day started as normally as possible. Jester woke up to find Beauregard no longer in her bed, probably out early for Monk training. That suited her just fine, since she didn’t want to see her, anyways. During the routine motions of casting the sunlight enchantments, Jester didn’t look out to see Beau coming home around the early afternoon and definitely didn’t spend any time thinking about her.

_ I’m mad at Beau, _ Jester concluded by the end of the enchanting period.  _ I’m mad at her. And I don’t like her at all. I don’t want to be with her. That Drow can have her for all I’m concerned because I’m angry now. And I’m NOT going to think about her. _ She tried to hold onto that anger as long and as tightly as possible to block everything else out, even when she found herself drawing on her bed and her roommate came in.

Beau sat cross-legged on her bed, cleaning her throwing stars with a rag like it was just an ordinary day. Her undercut was freshly shaven, not a hair out of place, and Jester could see part of her abs even though she was sitting down. She tried not to follow the lines with her eyes until they disappeared below her sash. If she’d decided to be mad at Beau, she was going to stick to it. Jester considered leaving, but her stubbornness made her stay.

Aside from the scratching of her pencil along the pages of her sketchbook, the room was silent. Silent for what seemed like forever, but it was likely 20 minutes or so. Beau carefully cleaned each star. Jester traced over and over the same shapes, producing nothing at all but unconsciously counting every single star Beau cleaned. Eleven. There were eleven.

The monk picked up star number twelve, but then paused. She set it down on top of her rag, her hands resting on her legs. Thirty seconds passed. Then, a minute. Jester’s pencil made a graphite line as it slowly sank down her sketchbook, held by a limp, unfocused blue hand.

Beau opened her mouth.

“What happened yesterday?”

Jester suddenly regrasped the pencil, her grip tightening and almost causing it to snap. She could feel something welling up inside her, and she hoped it was the anger she was determined to hold against the friend she was determined not to want anymore. 

“What  _ happened  _ yesterday? What  _ happened? _ I really should be asking you that, or at least I would if I cared at all.” Those words sounded so wrong, but she dug her heels in. “Which I don’t.”

Beau’s fists tightened and unclenched. She sprang up to stand on the wooden floor and started pacing back and forth in front of the beds. “What are you talking about, Jes? I’m asking about last night, when we were reading, and you-”

“Well, I’m asking about that pretty Drow girl,” Jester called, over Beau’s voice.

“-didn’t want to sit with me and- What?” Beau stopped in her tracks and looked Jester in the eyes. Jester looked away. “No, no no no, nothing even happened, but I don’t know why it would even…” She resumed her pacing, more quickly this time.

That feeling, possibly not anger, was pushing closer and closer to the surface but Jester was intent on finishing what she had started. She scowled, staring straight ahead. “It certainly didn’t look like nothing. It looked like you two did  _ something _ , and I don’t really care at all but you shouldn’t lie about it.”

“Jester, I mean it, nothing happened. We were talking about the house and then she asked me if I’d ever slept with a Drow, which isn’t the kind of line I usually pass up, but when we got into the house and started kissing, she let it slip that she just wanted to cross ‘human’ off her fuck list, and that was already pretty weird but then I started feeling like I was kissing Asa and that just made me think of you and-”

It was definitely not anger. Her throat started to choke up a little. Her voice escalated until she was almost yelling. “Oh, and I suppose that’s just GROSS, right? Thinking about me, while you’re trying to bone some GIRL way skinnier and more beautiful than I am-” Her whole face felt hot and her hands unclenched.

“Jester, stop-” Beau started walking towards her.

Two tears fell down her face. “Sorry I ruined your sex,  _ Beau,  _ I’ll stay out of your way.” That last word came out with a sob. Jester’s hands started to shake and she pulled her knees up close to her chest. 

“No, that’s not- it’s just- I meant I  _ wanted it to be you _ .” Through tears, Jester saw Beau climb onto the bed next to her. Beau’s hands touched Jester’s arms and pulled her into a hug. She was immediately enveloped in Beau’s warmth, the scent of her hair filling Jester’s shaky lungs. When one of Beau’s hands started running through the back of her hair, it was all Jester could think about. Any trace of anger disappeared from inside of her. There was only Beau’s warmth, Beau’s scent, Beau’s hands.

“I did the math and it came out all wrong. Don’t cry. I was wrong. Please don’t cry,” the Monk said, pulling away enough to look Jester in the eyes. She kept the Tiefling’s small blue hands in her long, tan ones.

“What?”

Beau nervously looked down and back up. It was about now that Jester’s heart finally caught up to the situation, beating wildly as she listened. She brushed the tears from her own face, feeling the weight lifting as Beau spoke. “I thought you were pretty great from the start, but you were straight, so I tried not to think about it. Then a few days ago you said you liked girls, and I guess I got my hopes up, but you know what happened with Yasha and I just didn’t want to go all-in on something that was just going to end badly again, so when that Drow asked me, I thought I’d give it a try.” She wiped the last tear from Jester’s face with her thumb. “Please don’t cry. I’m so sorry I hurt you. If I had thought for a second you felt the same, I wouldn’t have wanted to do anything with her.”

“So you like me?” Jester’s eyes brightened as she asked. Her legs left their position pulled to her chest and stretched out along the bed.

“Yeah, Jes.” 

That ridiculous, sexy half smile crossed Beau’s lips again. She needed to stop before Jester  _ died _ from how attractive it was. So, she did what made the most sense, hesitantly leaning forward with her eyes closed.

And it was nothing like the books. No one was pinned to any walls or furniture. No one’s clothes were ripped off. Beau’s hands moved to her legs, but they were only resting above her knees, not sliding up her thighs. Beau’s lips were soft, far softer than she had expected. After less than a second, they disappeared. Jester opened her eyes, still feeling the ghost of the touch on her own lips. Her face felt warm. She immediately wanted another.

Jester opened her eyes to see Beau, cheeks a little pink and eyes watching her face for a reaction, half sitting, half kneeling next to her. If the Tiefling’s blush didn’t betray her opinion on the kiss, the broad smile appearing on her lips certainly did. Beau smiled again, even sexier than last time. “I definitely like kissing women,” Jester announced.

“First kisses aren’t nearly as exciting as second kisses,” the Monk replied.

Jester reached her hands to rest on the sides of Beau’s head, her fingertips feeling the prickly sensation of her undercut. “I’ll be the judge of that,” she said, pulling Beau’s face closer to hers.

This time, it was  _ absolutely _ like the books. Perhaps even better. Beau let Jester pull her in for that second kiss, this time moving her lips more, softness gliding over softness, sucking ever so slightly on her bottom lip, which felt  _ so  _ much better than she’d imagined it would. The Monk was on top of her, knees either side of her hips keeping most of her body from touching Jester’s but she wouldn’t have been unhappy if it did. Jester had no idea what to do with her hands so she kept them in Beau’s hair, settling on pulling out her ponytail and reveling in how extremely soft her auburn hair was. Beau’s hands were more skilled, one resting on her side just below her breast, its thumb stroking lines back and forth that made her wish her shirt wasn’t in the way. The other sat on the side of her face, only adding to the intensity behind their lips. Jester could feel Beau’s nose pressing beside her own as the Monk’s kisses became more varied, with more movement and the gentlest hint of tongue across her bottom lip. She made a noise in the back of her throat that she’d never heard herself make before and Beau’s hand immediately moved further back, weaving itself into her hair and pulling her lips closer.

After a few more moments, Beau pulled back. Jester chased the Monk’s lips with her own before opening her eyes, seeing Beau’s pupils blown out, suddenly redder lips and hair falling into her face. It was  _ perfect _ .

“I really like second kisses,” was her breathless reply. Jester was still trying to get her bearings. 

“I really like kissing you.”

“Then get back over here, Beauregard, and kiss me again.”

The next few minutes were a mess of sensations for Jester, the now-familiar but still amazing softness of lips on hers, Beau’s hands in her hair, Beau’s hands on her body… Jester laid back onto the bed, seeing no point in trying to sit up anymore, and the Monk followed, propping herself up with one arm but allowing their bodies to touch, making every inch of Jester she was touching tingle with the contact. That hand was on the side of her face again, but this time, she could feel fingertips tracing along her jawline and on the side of her neck, sending a shiver down her spine. 

Jester’s lips parted, giving way to Beau’s gentle tongue. She could feel it along the inside of her bottom lip. Moving forward to meet it was her own tongue, and at this point, Jester started to feel something else between her legs. She couldn’t stop thinking about that tongue somewhere else, even though the idea of that happening just yet was still a little too much. But the heartbeat inside her smallclothes grew to throbbing when Beau showed no signs of finishing the kiss. Jester squirmed, her body searching.

Her hips must have betrayed what she was feeling to Beau, because moments later, she felt the Monk shift positions, alternating her thighs with Jester’s so that one of them fell between her legs, somehow without catching her long skirt. Feeling something there, Jester’s hips involuntarily rose up and she gasped at the pleasure of the grinding sensation, dying just a little bit knowing it was Beau.

“See? Mandatory,” Beau whispered in her ear, leaving her full and tingling lips for a moment. The Monk moved her own hips in a way that made Jester realize, not only was she grinding her own heat on Beau’s leg, but  _ Beau was doing the same to hers _ . An entirely wrecked moan escaped her lips. She lost herself in the sensation.

Beau’s mouth didn’t return to hers, instead opting to kiss along her neck, up and down until eventually the lips were traded out for Beau’s tongue. Jester didn’t know how much more of this she could handle before her heart beat out of her chest. And she still had no idea what to do with her own hands. She just kept raising her hips in time to keep the heat at bay- or perhaps to make it worse.

“Is this too much?” The Monk’s voice broke through her haze. 

“No, it’s- Don’t stop,” she breathed. 

“Do you want more?” Beau asked, moving her hand down to Jester’s thigh and bringing it slowly upwards.

“Yes,” the Tiefling moaned, “Maybe. Not under my smallclothes yet.” If Beau’s thigh felt this good, she was sure she would die if her fingers touched her clit. 

There was a pause in the motion. “Yes or maybe?”

“Yes. Definitely yes. On the outside for now.”

“Okay,” Beau whispered, her mouth somehow back near Jester’s ear. And suddenly lips were on her own again, softness taking her over and-  _ oh _ , there was Beau’s hand, moving past the top of her thigh and finally-

Jester gasped into Beau’s mouth, suddenly feeling her hand running from above her entrance to her clit, so slowly and perfectly, she couldn’t even worry about how strange it was to feel fingers there that weren’t her own. They repeated their motion again, again, again, and Jester’s entire consciousness shifted to occupy only the space between her thighs.

“Okay?” Beau whispered.

“Yes,” was Jester’s high-pitched reply. It was more than okay. She felt her arousal building and building with each successive touch. She must have been soaking Beau’s fingers through the thin layer of fabric but she didn’t care. Jester’s fingers curled into fabric, not caring whether it was the bedsheets, her skirt, or Beau’s sash. She was getting closer, and closer, and closer-

The orgasm crashed through her body like an avalanche, peaking and washing away all other thoughts and sensations until the only thing left was the pulsing warmth spreading out from between her legs and the feeling of Beau’s body laying next to hers. Jester realized her skirt was bunched up above her waist and the whole scene probably looked extremely dirty but she didn’t care.

“Turn on your side,” Beau told her, and she did, somehow moving her boneless limbs. Beau snaked one arm under the pillow and wrapped another around her waist, holding her close. She could feel warm breath hitting the back of her neck. A sensation of serene calm overcame her. Jester could get addicted to this.

They lay like that for a few minutes until Jester turned over to face the girl laying in her bed. Beau’s hair was pushed in a strange direction by the pillow and there was a slight gathering of sweat where her hairline met her brow. Her normally blue eyes were almost black with her widened pupils. She had never looked more beautiful.

“Did you like that?” Beau said with a coy smile.

“I fucking  _ loved _ it, dummy.”

“So did I,” Beau said, bringing her face close enough to Jester’s that their noses were touching. “You look absolutely stunning. There’s no way that Drow could even come close.”

Jester thought for a moment, marveling at how lucky she was. “Does this make us one of those stories?”

“What?”

“We’re one of the three types of lesbian stories. The one where the dashing, experienced lesbian sweeps the newbie off their feet.”

“Don’t you mean the one where the lesbian somehow convinces the adorable, hot-as-hell questioning girl to let her into her bed?”

“Dummy,” she called Beau again. “You didn’t even have to convince me.”

They lay there, arms around one another, staring at each other with dumb looks on their faces for what seemed like ages. There was no trace of that gaping loneliness anywhere in Jester’s chest; Beau had chased it away. She’d never felt this safe, this  _ warm _ . Her books focused on what it feels like to fall for someone, but they never said what it felt like to be loved. Now she knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up until now, this fic has been mostly an M rating, and we're skirting the line between M and E for this chapter, but chapter 6 will be firmly in the E territory. If that's not your bag, this is the ending, but if you're all aboard the smut train, I'll see you in chapter 6!


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jester pulled away from Beau’s lips and whispered into her ear, “And this time, I want your tongue.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a smut epilogue, sorry it took a week!

Almost a week had passed and Beau still couldn't believe she wasn't dreaming.

Jester- the very same Jester she'd been traveling with for months and had labelled as, A, completely straight, and B,  _ completely _ out of her league. The same Jester she'd become close to. Told almost everything to. Shared a room with. Read smut with. The same Jester she considered one of her best friends. Jester actually  _ liked _ her. It was, quite honestly, a dream come true.

Beau had almost ruined it. Reading that book with her was easily the best part of Beau's day, no matter what was going on. She loved telling Jester stories from her teenage years as a disaster lesbian and watching blush creep across her cheeks when they talked about sex positions and kissing girls. She loved it even more when she found out that Jester was questioning. Beau held a little faltering hope that Jester would be interested in her, but it wasn't strong enough to convince her to go after another party member the way she'd pursued Yasha. She just wasn't ready for another one of _ those _ conversations. So there Beau was, reading sex scenes with her best friend, trying to keep a calm voice and normal heartbeat when all she could think about was flipping Jester over on the bed and reducing her to a gasping mess. It riled Beau up constantly. And she felt so dirty, constantly thinking of Jester in this way. She’d be a liar if she said she’d never found a moment alone after reading and pretended her hand was Jester’s. So when an attractive Drow woman came her way, she figured she could get some of that pent up energy out of her system. Little did she know, she actually really hurt Jester in doing so. Watching her cry was heartbreaking. Knowing it was she who had caused Jester to feel so lonely made it a thousand times worse.

But somehow, it worked itself out. Jester still wanted her. Jester  _ really _ wanted her. Being wanted is addicting, and Beau was hooked from the start. Jester was cautious of initiating, letting Beau take the lead, but absolutely not shy about showing her what she wanted. The noises alone drove Beau crazy. They stayed in her ears long after Jester finished, making her want more and more and more...

"Cadeuceus's sun thingy is finally finished!" Jester's voice interrupted Beau's train of thought and pulled her back to reality. She was laying on her bed, lazily daydreaming on the last night at their new home before the group were set to stake out the Xhorhouse. Beau quickly sat up as Jester entered the room, throwing open the door and sing-shouting her announcement.

"That's great! Magic takes a long time. It's been more than a week now, right?" 

"Ten days, going on a million. Ugh, I'm so glad to be done." With a sigh, Jester flopped down onto Beau's bed, her head landing on Beau's lap. The comfort they had with each other was something Beau had never experienced before.  _ I could get used to this, _ she thought as her hands started running through Jester's hair.

"What do you want to do with our last night here?" Beau asked, twisting a dark blue strand around her finger.

Jester shifted to give Beau access to more hair. "This. Exactly what we're doing right now. And maybe finish that book. I don't think we will have much time after tomorrow. Who knows what's going to happen."

Beau reached over to the coffee table to grab  _ Asa's Undoing _ . The uncertainty of their lives was starting to creep back into her mind after such a relaxed, lighthearted weekend. She could go for one more night of escaping into stories and romance. Jester was probably right- there would be time to read on the road, but probably not to lay together like this. Especially not to do other things together.

Propping the book open against the mattress with one hand, the other tangled in blue waves, Beau began to read. " _ 'Asa crawled into bed next to a sleeping Xael, slipping one hand around her chest. She felt the comforting rise and fall of the woman she knew she loved. After a few minutes of silence and thought, Asa felt a break in the rhythm of Xael’s breathing. She began to stir, waking up and opening her eyes.’” _

Absentmindedly, Beau’s hand traveled from Jester’s hair to one of her horns, stroking the base of it where it came out of her hair. Jester’s eyes shut and she leaned into the touch.

“ _ ‘Kissing up Xael’s chest, Asa slowly made her way to her lover’s mouth.  _

_“This was a nice way to wake up. We should do this more often.”_ _Xael smiled and kissed her back.’_ ”

Her hand moved again to where Jester’s neck met her hairline, running her fingers through her hair and stroking down the back of her neck. She smiled when she heard Jester softly gasp and move her head to give Beau’s fingers more space to roam.  _ Gods, she’s still so easy to distract. _ Her fingers started to run the length from Jester’s hair, down her neck to where her back disappeared into her shirt.

“ _ ‘Does that mean you’ve been thinking about what I asked you? About moving in togeth-’ _ ”

Jester sat up suddenly and pulled the book from Beau’s hand, throwing it to the bottom of the bed. “Okay, no, I need to have sex with you. Right now.”

“You don’t have to tell me twi-” The Monk’s words were cut off by a gasp as Jester straddled her lap, kneeling on either side of her, and pulled her into a kiss. Beau immediately forgot about the book and wrapped her arms around the Tiefling’s waist, deepening the kiss. 

Jester pulled away from Beau’s lips and whispered into her ear, “And this time, I want your tongue.”

Beau’s heart felt like it stalled in her chest as she processed what Jester said. “Holy shit, uh, yes. Yes. Absolutely yes.” When it restarted, it immediately was racing and she could already feel its quickened pace affecting the heat mounting between her legs. She brought her mouth back to Jester’s and resumed where they had left off. Beau’s suddenly shaky hands began to pull at the back of Jester’s corset, forgetting how it was undone but scrambling for some kind of clasp. 

The Tiefling giggled between kisses. “Someone’s excited,” she breathed, taking Beau’s hands and leading them to the buckles around her waist. Her blue hands then went up to Beau’s hair, pulling the ribbon from her ponytail and causing her hair to fall down around her face. 

Beau’s fingers undid the corset. She pulled it from Jester’s waist and dropped it to the floor, bringing her hands to Jester’s hips and torso, covered only by a thin white shirt. A slight noise escaped from the back of her throat. She  _ loved _ touching Jester without the corset. “Shirt off?” she asked, pulling the white fabric of Jester’s blouse from the waistband of her skirt.

“Mine or yours?” Jester replied, tugging at the bottom of the Monk’s shirt, just above where she had been tracing the lines of Beau’s abs a moment ago.

“Why not both?” Beau said as Jester quickly pulled her cropped blue shirt over her head and set to work on her breastband. When it was finally pulled free, Jester started to take her own shirt off. As she was pulling it over her head, Beau began to kiss along her chest. “How are you this beautiful?” Just looking at Jester’s perfect blue skin made her want to touch every inch.

“How are you not on top of me yet?” Jester answered, falling onto the bed on her back and pulling Beau on top of her. 

_ This is it, _ thought Beau. On top of a shirtless Jester, about to use her tongue on her. She’d been in this exact position a dozen or so times before, but  _ fuck _ , it was Jester this time, and that almost made her feel a little nervous. Beau quickly got her out of her skirt and looked down to see her best friend, naked except for her smallclothes, laying on her bed, blush on her cheeks, hips squirming, eyes staring, waiting for her-

“Are you just going to look at me or what, Beau?” Jester said. “Get back on top of me.” 

And Beau obliged. She put one thigh in between Jester’s legs, giving her something to feel while she built her up. Beau kissed her neck, tongue running up and down, and then kissed her chest, making circles around her nipples that brought sounds from the Tiefling’s lips that Beau wanted to keep in her mind forever. And then finally, she kissed her way down Jester’s stomach, past her hips, and to the top of her smallclothes.    
  


“Yes?”

“Yes,” breathed Jester, eyes closed and head thrown back. So Beau pulled down the last garment between her and Jester’s heat to reveal a soft patch of blue curls, beneath which hid what Beau had felt before but never seen. She kissed a line up her thigh before finally slipping her tongue between Jester’s folds. 

Jester gasped and pulled her hips away almost by reflex, and Beau paused, looking up to her. But she was still the distracted, horny mess she had been a few moments ago. “Keep going, it was just sudden,” she said. So Beau did.

The next time she licked Jester, she tried to do it as slowly and gently as she could, starting around her entrance and only adding enough pressure to make sure she could feel her, and then carefully going up to her clit, narrowly avoiding it to keep from overstimulating her. The long moan that escaped Jester’s lips told her she was doing exactly the right thing. Beau repeated this motion a few more times, finding that Jester tasted just as sweet as she had expected. After a few long strokes, Beau noticed Jester moving her hips again, but this time it was towards her tongue, chasing the sensation.

So Beau quickened her pace, licking her clit and getting some of the best sounds from Jester’s lips in return. “Yes,” she breathed in between gasps. 

Beau could feel her own wetness rivaling Jester’s. She was going to need something afterwards. Shifting to free up one of her arms, she considered slipping it into her own folds but decided to keep all focus on Jester for now. She brought her hand up to rest one finger at Jester’s opening, all the while keeping her tongue following the same patterns that were reducing Jester to such a wrecked state.

“Inside?” she asked, removing her mouth for a moment.

“Anywhere,” came Jester’s reply. 

Taking a moment to catch her breath, Beau teased one finger around Jester’s entrance before slipping it carefully inside. She watched Jester’s face for any signs of discomfort, but she just saw an extremely turned on Tiefling nearly puncturing the pillow with one of her horns, completely losing track of them as she threw her head back from the sensation. Once Beau’s finger was all the way inside, she crooked it slightly to find the soft yet rough patch she was looking for-

“Oh, oh Gods, you know where that is,” she gasped out breathlessly.

Beau chuckled, “Of course I do, I have one as well.” 

“I’m so happy you’re a girl,” Jester choked out in between moans. Beau’s finger didn’t cease its ministrations, rubbing and kneading inside of her. It was quickly joined by a second one before Beau leaned back down and brought her tongue back to Jester’s clit.

The sounds of what happened next would be imprinted into Beau’s memory forever, filed away for future use. Jester’s toes began to curl and her hands balled up into fists as the gasping grew louder and louder. Beau kept the pressure from her fingers rhythmically touching her from the inside as her tongue circled around and around the outside. 

Jester’s gasps became high pitched and then suddenly changed their sound as she began to contract around Beau’s fingers. She slowed her pace to let Jester ride out her orgasm, licking gently and slowly pulling her fingers out as the gasping subsided.

“So how did you like-” Beau began to ask, licking the traces of Jester’s arousal from her fingers.

“Oh my Gods, you’re going to be doing that a lot, I hope,” she replied in between gasps. 

“Whenever you want,” Beau said, laying down next to Jester and getting ready to cuddle up to her.

“Nope,” Jester said, opening her eyes with a new energy. She sat up and pinned Beau’s shoulders to the pillow. “No cuddling yet. I haven’t done anything for you.”

“What?” Beau said, surprise in her voice. “You don’t have to yet if you don’t want to.” She would have been lying if she said the idea didn’t send sudden pulses of energy between her legs, but she didn’t want to push Jester too quickly.

Jester pouted, being as cute as possible while still remaining as sexy as ever. “But what if I want to?”

Well, there was no arguing with  _ that _ . “If you want to, I’m definitely not- whoa!” Beau’s reply was cut off by the sudden feeling of a tail wrapping around her thigh, starting above her knee.

Jester’s eyes lit up. “You just tell me if I’m doing it wrong, okay?”

Beau was so turned on that she was certain she’d come almost immediately no matter what Jester was doing. The Tiefling started the same way Beau had earlier, kissing from her neck to her chest and down to her waistline, and Beau felt like she was about to explode. It was like one of her late-night, guilty fantasies come true, except it wasn’t her own hand headed between her legs, it was Jester’s real, actual mouth. Beau looked down and saw a mess of blue hair surrounding two horns hovering above her waist as blue hands fought with the sash of her pants. She could hardly believe it was real.

Once the pants had been removed and thrown somewhere across the room, Jester was able to get her hands on Beau’s skin, and it felt like a dream. She started licking trails up the Monk’s thigh, repeatedly stopping just before her smallclothes, driving her absolutely mad with want. Beau’s hands gripped the sheets beneath her. “Gods, Jester, I’m already on the edge here,” she breathed desperately.

That seemed to flip a switch in Jester. “I thought Monks were supposed to be patient,” she said in a coy voice dripping with lust. It was here that Beau remembered she was in bed with  _ Marion Lavorre _ ’s daughter, and at least some of her talent probably ran in the family. “Please, Jes, get me out of these damn smallclothes.” Beau’s hips were raising, searching for any kind of sensation between her legs.

“If you insist,” and with that, Jester pulled the offending garment down Beau’s legs and discarded it on the floor. She paused a moment, the confidence on her face faltering as she eyed Beau’s body up and down. “I can’t believe you’re naked in this bed for me.”

“I can’t believe I’m the first person who gets to be naked in bed for you.”

“What do you want me to do?” Jester asked.

“Whatever you’re comfortable with,” Beau said, the surging, pulsing heat persisting between her legs. “Do you want to start with your hands?”

“Okay,” Jester said, “But you’re going to have to wait a little longer.” Some of that world-shattering sexiness crept back into her voice. Her eyes locked on Beau’s and she was done for. 

Jester’s fingernails gently traced along Beau’s ribcage, down to her hips, back up to her stomach, and then down to her-

Beau gasped, not realizing it would be so soon. She threw her head back. One of Jester’s fingers slipped between her lips and the contact sent her hips bucking towards the sensation, finally feeling what she had been needing since the two started kissing. A sly smile crept across Jester’s lips as she saw the wanting expression on Beau’s face. “So you like that,” she asked, pulling her fingertip up towards Beau’s clit, so slowly that it doubled her need immediately.

“More, Jes, please,” Beau asked, not caring that she hadn’t strung together an actual sentence. Jester obliged, quickening her fingers and making messy circles around Beau’s clit that reduced her to gasps.

“This is so weird backwards. And you’re so wet I hardly know where I am.”

“I don’t care,” said Beau, feeling like she was already getting close.

“Do you want my tongue?” Jester asked, a mix of sex appeal and apprehension coloring her voice.   
  


“Of course, but this is good too,” Beau replied, trying to be as cautious as possible when all she wanted to ask for was everything.

Jester’s fingers left her clit and she whined at the lack of touch, her eyes still squeezed shut from being overwhelmed moments before. And then she felt it- the warm, soft wetness of a small, taut tongue, gently lapping once over her clit. Beau could have cried from the sensation.

“Like that?”

Beau replied by tangling her fingers into Jester’s hair and around her horns, guiding her head back down to the pounding heat between her legs. 

A few more cautious, slow strokes over her clit threatened to end it right there for Beau but she managed to hold back from slipping over the edge, sure that what Jester would do next would be worth the wait. And it was- Beau felt one finger exploratorily slip inside her entrance, making its way up, feeling around a moment before it found its mark. 

She  _ absolutely _ was not going to last much longer.

Jester’s tongue sped up to match her finger, gradually synchronizing movements inside and out. Beau’s hands tangled even deeper in Jester’s hair. She could hear the noises coming from her mouth but didn’t dare to think about how ridiculous she sounded. Beau just lost herself in the sensation, in the fantasy she’d dreamed of but now got to experience for real.

She wanted to stay right there, feeling Jester’s beautiful tongue on her for as long as she could, but Beau was powerless against the mounting orgasm she’d fought to keep at bay. It swelled from the inside out, cascading through her, turning her into a mess of gasping and begging. “Jes,” she said when the rush had passed through her. “Jes, come up here.”

Jester did what she said, pulling her fingers out from inside of her and moving herself up to lay her head on Beau’s chest. “Was that any good?”

“Fucking hell, Jester, you’re amazing.” Beau kissed her, not caring that her taste was still on Jester’s lips. “I don’t even have words.”

Their kisses dissolved into cuddling, laying together, hearing each other’s heartbeats and relishing in the feeling of their touching skin. 

“So, uh, I definitely  _ definitely _ like girls,” Jester announced, making Beau laugh into her hair.

“I should hope so, Jes.” 

“Now I get why you and Xael like eating girls out so much.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty amazing.”

“You know, Beau, you made some pretty crazy noises when I was touching you.”

“Shut up, Jester, so did you,” Beau replied, tickling her until she was gasping again. “You were pretty loud.”

“Oh Gods, I hope no one else heard,” Jester said, her voice growing suddenly serious.

“We’re not going to be able to do this much on the road,” Beau said. It was a realization that made them both pause. They’d been lucky to have this time together.

“But we won’t be on the road forever,” Jester said. “And when we get to an actual bed somewhere, we’ll just have a bunch of sex to make up for it.”

After a pause, imagining what things would be like, traveling with their friends and maintaining whatever this is that they’d started together, Beau looked across the room for the book, which had fallen on the floor in their excitement.

“Do you want to finish that book tonight?”

Jester looked up at her with a half-smile that made her heart skip. “I think I have a better idea.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Beau said, leaning in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I hope you all liked this story- hopefully I'll write something else this year and not go on another long hiatus, haha! Thanks for reading :)
> 
> Also, question... how do people become friends with other authors on here? I see a lot of people talking in notes about getting fic requests from their other author friends, and groups of people talking about things in servers. How does that all work? Can anyone leave me a comment explaining how to become friends with you wonderful people? Is it a Tumblr thing? Because I don't have a Tumblr so that might be my problem.


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